Six Years Deep

If I kept playing Russian roulette with all of these women

Loyalty strikes!; baby where you been at?
It's been crazy these last six years, where you been at?
It seems you left with my dying daughter, all of these women
Didn't love me the way that she would've, no one could know how I could've
How I got stabbed over her, none of this shit could be thought up
And it's crazy how I survived through the things that I was brought up
You should've seen the things I bought her
Instead I waited, everyday hoping I'd see my car get balled up

If I kept playing Russian roulette with all of these women

I'm not the hype, and haven't been for 3 years
I never understood why people tattoo'd tears, now I do
I never understood why I didn't cut consistently, now I do
I never understood why I gave feminine names to material things, now I do
My knife, I call her Malia & she's my everything
She glistens of me when she touches me, are those just the blood stains?
Or does she really FEEL my pain, or induce it?
Or is it my brain? Maybe I'm being too inclusive

If I kept playing Russian roulette with all of these women

I'd be in the same stages, traveled through the same fucked up places
And still be here in the present
I'd still be reminiscent over the woman that plagued me
The one that now happens to lapse calling me baby for nigger
The one that wants me to pull triggers at my brain
Because sometimes I'm too brainy, and life's too grainy
Maybe she understands that depression's my baby
And forever will be, no room for a woman when my lifestyle's hazy
No room for her, if she feels the same way
No point in trying to change me, best the same broken man that I've been
Indulgent in a life of sin, go back to waylaying
Anything at my path, that helps or parlays me
Keep anything that's slightly phasing
If anything is too intricate, to the wayside it goes
Until memory lane turns red, like the rivers of my soul
May she hold my heart until it goes, or waste it
Fuck all the time wasted, sorry I wasted it