Pick And Choose

Which is better? Living life in glances, or not having second chances?
I guarantee you both are the same
Which one is better? Living life like me where NOBODY knows your name,
Or being subject to the pain?
Both are the same, and I can't take it any longer
Really thought I could fight it off a couple more years, I truly thought I was stronger
But I guess the strongest aren't really the strongest
And the ones that claim they're the hardest, are living fallacies regardless
I guess I'm, just a little too honest
My arm still burst open last night, I guess I... just felt like my death was a promise
Still is, especially when
I'll finish this bottle, and have no one to look-up to when the knife opens my skin
When will the stress ever end? With all my criminal paths
When will they just see I'm not the same him, why not just leave me to relax?
Why not, just leave me so I can bleed out like it's my last
Maybe in a couple days it will be my last
What do I really have?
I mean, what do you see that I REALLY have?
Maybe I'm just different, maybe this is an anomally
But niggas said it gets easier, where is this BULLSHIT you niggas promised me?!
God damn, where's my father, B?
Where's my mother? My brothers? It kills me because I gave them all of me
And I got nothing but the drama leaf, why ask why I smoke?
You know what you've done, and I've just taken heed to how my karma speaks
From being beaten to bloody pulps at age 4, to women leaving me in hopes
Of finding a man that has something he wants to live for
To niggas putting pressure on me to go back to playing god
Gun chases, drug dealings, & court cases;
All the way to friends saying I'm the problem
To relationships that fail because I'm mentally retarded
I say I love you, but not ready for us
True stories never allow me to bask in anyone's glory,
It's just more drama being started
What goes around, comes around
I guess being physically beaten...
Has just translated to my mental every fucking evening
I guess my knife is my only best friend
Saying that she doesn't want to live if I leave
But never grinding herself down into silver specks
I guess I'm just being foolish again, no woman would ever claim they love me
See this, then actually try to fix my chest
Try to figure out what's next, before seeing obituaries
Shrugging their shoulders, then moving to the next man's steps
Truthfully, who says Karma is true?
Find yourself a noose, there's no such thing, I'm the living example
So, 151, please love just take me back to when I was being careful
And the left side bled too, from the workplace scalpels
Who needs a body? My soul could live without you
Haze's presence around is so damn doubtful.